By Dongmin
When was the last time you were truly present?
Think back over the past week. Was it a moment with yourself? With your family or friends? At work? Or while enjoying a hobby?
This past August, I attended a one-day meditation retreat at Green Gulch Farm. I was excited about the experience, but I wasn’t quite sure what to expect.
I left home at 6:30 AM and began the retreat at 8:00 AM. It was a full day of silent practice, alternating between short periods of sitting meditation and walking meditation, with an hour-long lunch break in the middle.
Before going, I thought it would be relatively easy. After all, I had been practicing Zen meditation for a while.
But the experience turned out to be much more challenging than I expected.
Throughout the day, my mind kept playing what felt like endless movies of my life. It dug up some of my earliest memories, jumped to my current challenges at work and home, and then raced ahead to worries about the future. This cycle repeated itself over and over again.
I felt mentally exhausted and frustrated. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t seem to control my thoughts. My mind felt like a high-speed train with a chaotic driver, racing from one thought to another without stopping.
What surprised me most was realizing that, despite having practiced meditation for some time, I still couldn’t simply “be present” whenever I wanted to.
That experience left me wondering:
What does it really mean to “be present”? And how can we get better at it?
To me, being present means being fully engaged in the moment we’re experiencing—physically, mentally, and emotionally—rather than being distracted by the past, worried about the future, or constantly thinking about what comes next.
It’s about being here, not just being there.
In our busy lives, this is easier said than done.
Between demanding jobs, family responsibilities, endless emails, messages, and Slack notifications, we’re constantly being pulled in different directions. Our attention is divided, and our minds are often racing ahead to the next task before we’ve even finished the current one.
And perhaps that’s exactly why practicing presence matters more than ever.
We work hard to build meaningful careers, support our families, and create fulfilling lives. But if we’re always focused on what’s next, we risk missing the very moments we’re working so hard for.
So, what can we do in our everyday lives to become more present?
I’ve found that a few small habits can make a meaningful difference:
1. Start each day knowing your priorities. Be clear about what truly matters and where you want to focus your attention. Sometimes this requires planning at the weekly, monthly, or even quarterly level.
2. Don’t be afraid to say no. Not everything deserves your time and attention. Saying no to less important things creates space for what matters most.
3. Plan ahead, then commit to the moment. Once you’ve made a decision or committed to an activity, try to give it your full attention rather than continuing to think about everything else you could be doing.
4. Put your phone away during family time. When you get home in the evening, create some phone-free time with your family and children. Be there not just physically, but mentally and emotionally.
5. Keep your phone out of the bedroom. If you use your phone as an alarm, consider replacing it with a simple $5 alarm clock. Removing the temptation to scroll before bed or first thing in the morning can help create better conditions for sleep and a calmer start to the day.
One thing my meditation retreat helped me realize is that being present doesn’t mean having a perfectly quiet mind. Our minds naturally wander. The practice is learning to notice when that happens and gently bring our attention back to the moment.
Being present is a natural human capacity, but maintaining it takes practice—especially when we’re busy, ambitious, and carrying many responsibilities.
And perhaps the most important reminder is this:
A meaningful life isn’t only about what we accomplish. It’s also about how deeply we experience the moments along the way.
I’m sure this is something many of you have thought about or experienced yourselves.
I’d love to hear your perspectives. What helps you stay present in your daily life? Are there habits or practices that have made a difference for you?
I hope we can all find more moments to slow down, connect, and simply be present.
