By Dave
Good morning, my name is Dave. Last week, I volunteered to talk. I’ve been thinking about it for months but I’ve been nervous about talking. Today was very hard for meditation because I was so anxious to get the talk over with.
I wanted to talk about a Japanese character, 中 naka. You can see a square with a line going down through the middle. It means “middle” or “inside.”
I wanted to talk about middle because when I meditate, I often find myself closing my eyes, leaning forward, and slouching a little. I take a moment to lean back and find my middle place to sit. Today, probably 20 times, I had to sit back and find my middle space again.
A couple of weeks ago, I decided not just to sit straight up but to lean back. It felt very strange—like I was holding myself back from living. Instead of leaning forward, trying to push myself through life, I leaned back a little. It was very uncomfortable.
In Buddhism, the Buddha talked about the Middle Way—not one direction or the other, but finding the center. In yoga, they talk about balance. All of us are seeking balance, but in the world not many things are balanced. It can feel elusive. In Greek philosophy, they spoke of moderation in all things. So as we go through life, we seek balance, we seek the middle—and it can be very hard to find. That’s what I wanted to talk about today.
The second thing I wanted to share is that my meditation practice started 25 years ago. I had gone through a divorce, had a 10-year-old child, and lost my job. I was seeing a therapist—an ex-Catholic priest turned Buddhist—who suggested meditation. I went home, sat with my eyes closed, and came back the next week saying, “It didn’t work.” That was the start of my meditation practice.
Over the past 25 years, I’ve practiced mostly on my own at home. I light a candle. I have two bowls—a larger one I tap to start and a smaller one I tap to finish. I like to think I’m a little lighter after meditating. I don’t know if it’s true, but it makes me feel better.
Yesterday, my daughter—who was 10 when I first began meditating—turned 35. We had a birthday party at my house. My wife and I have been married for eight years. We met in Spain on the Camino de Santiago in 2013, and she later moved from Ireland to join me.
We’ve traveled to Ireland a few times. Her sister runs a shop with historic Irish items, including characters from an ancient Gaelic writing system—lines with smaller marks branching off. My wife recently gave our daughter a picture of one of these symbols, representing “family.” In Gaelic, the word for family is clan.
I feel that meditating here is like being part of a family, a clan. There are people I feel connected with, even if we’ve never spoken a word.
Now my talk is over, and I can meditate. Thank you very much for listening.
Hakone Zendo 