By Ewa
Like many of you, I’ve led a very busy life. As a mom of two with a demanding career, I learned to multitask, to plan far ahead, to anticipate problems, and to worry about every possible bad outcome. That mindset helped me survive and even succeed for decades in Silicon Valley. But there came a point where I realized my mind was always on. My mind seemed to have this insatiable desire to be occupied and genuinely I didn’t know how to just sit still without thinking about anything.
Our modern world bombards us with information, from endless news to non-stop social media, and here in Silicon Valley, full of energy, innovation, and ambition, it’s always in hyperspeed. Now, with AI accelerating everything, there’s even more pressure to move faster, innovate quicker, and optimize every second. We start to believe that the faster we go, the more valuable we are.
After a series of health issues a few years back, I tried to slow down, but less activity didn’t really calm my mind. I remember traveling with my family. I was busy taking photos of everything while my kids were just… enjoying the view. And they were right. I was so focused on capturing the moment that I wasn’t actually in it. And honestly, I rarely had time to look at those tens of thousands of photos again.
That’s when I eventually decided to try meditation.
I love this garden and had come here often before, thinking what a privilege it was to sit in this beautiful house and meditate. But it wasn’t easy. I was told to “empty my mind,” but how? For the first 10-20 minutes, my mind would be filled with things I hadn’t done, things I should do, random thoughts and memories. Only in the last few minutes would I start to hear the sound of water.
Now, after coming to meditation consistently for a few months, I’ve started to make progress.
What I’ve learned to do is not to fight these thoughts, but to work with them by mentally “triaging” them — is this urgent? Can it wait? Then I sort them into different mental boxes, closing the lid, and now they’re out of the way – I can pick them up later.
I also use a breathing technique I learned from an integrated nutrition study, called 4-7-8: inhale for 4, hold for 7, exhale for 8. Breathing deliberately and counting is truly the trick to stay anchored. And I’ve learned to listen to the water, not just hearing it. When I truly listen and let the sound fill my being, it feels louder, and I genuinely enjoy it.
The feeling after meditation is incredible. I feel like I’ve given my mind a real break before returning to life. It’s become so addictive that I’m here every Sunday morning, even despite the early start.
And it’s not just a feeling! Studies show that regular meditation actually reduces the size and reactivity of the amygdala, the part of the brain that controls fear and stress. So, when we meditate, we are not just calming ourselves; we are reshaping our stress response. Even a few weeks of meditation strengthens the prefrontal cortex, the region that helps with focus, self-awareness, and decision-making. This is why, over time, the mental clutter becomes easier to manage.
I call this practice my “intentional pause”. In a time that feels hard to understand, hard to catch up with, and often very chaotic, this is how I anchor myself. It gives me a neutral space, time to react, and helps me let go of many things that don’t truly matter to me.
Hakone Zendo 